


Choices and Acceptance

by firewolfsg



Series: Journey of Light (光) [22]
Category: Saiunkoku Monogatari
Genre: Choices, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-12
Updated: 2010-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 05:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reishin finally learns what Kouyuu has chosen to do with his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices and Acceptance

Kouyuu thought that perhaps he should have been more thrilled to have his father so quickly at his side during this crisis. After all, Reishin was a completely undemonstrative man, and he had never made such a huge public display of his affection and concern for his adopted son before.

It wasn't as if Ryuuki sent word to the Kou estates that Kouyuu was injured or poisoned. The crisis which gripped the palace concerned the disappearance of Ran Shuuei after his investigative patrol was attacked. It had only been vaguely hinted that Kouyuu had retreated to his chambers when Shuuei remained missing nearly a day after the ambush.

Yet here stood Kou Reishin in Kouyuu's palace chambers on the same evening his son was rumoured to have taken to his bed. This was evidence enough that Reishin must have left the Kou Estates the same day Ran Shuuei was attacked.

"I know it was not you, who sent the assassins." Kouyuu finally spoke when he turned to face his father.

The relief in Reishin's eyes would only be discernable by someone who knew him well. Ironically, Kouyuu was to number among these few only after his father left Kiyou.

"As much as you dislike Ran Shuuei and abhore the triad created by the Emperor and his twin flowers, the Kou Clan would never so openly invite war with the Rans." 

"You are astute, as befitting the Prime Minister's Aide."

As much as he loved the man, Kouyuu refused to make it any easier on his father. Instead he let Reishin sweep his eyes over his current attire which looked far different from the loose bed clothes worn by the infirmed, but which were close fitting and designed for unrestricted and swift movement. Clothes made not of the fine silks and satins of court attire, but the cotton and leather of a soldier. It was a garment hued in shades of the forest at night. And topping off the entire look was a long silkly black wig reaching down the middle of his back with a dark blue head band that kept the strands off his face and a chin strap which ensured it stayed on his head. This man looked nothing like the Prime Minister's Aide.

Kouyuu could see Reishin's lips quiver in the urge to speak, but he knew the man would hold his tongue. For the entire time Kouyuu was with him, Reishin had constantly tried to make Kouyuu understand that his destiny was of his own choosing. And that Reishin himself ensured Kouyuu had the complete freedom to select his path in life. As much as he clearly disagreed with Kouyuu's decisions now, he would never oppose it. And Kouyuu loved the man all the more for this.

A knock on the door frame interrupted their tensed silence and a grey wolf preceded Kou Shouka's arrival. "She's ready."

Kouyuu smiled as he petted his no longer prestine white wolf. Shiro was as eager to set off as he was. Who knew what kind of trouble Shuuei had gotten himself into?

"Aniue..." The raw betrayal in Reishin's gaze was unmistakable yet Shouka matched his younger brother's gaze evenly.

"It was better that I take him in and teach him, or he would have learned on his own without any guidance." Shouka turned his gaze to his aqua haired apprentice. "Even so, your son has surpassed his teacher in the realm of poisons and their antidotes."

"Kouyuu." Reishin turned to address his son at last. "I did not wish you to touch the darkness."

The younger man shook his head in gentle denial. "I remember my true history, father. And you raised me above that sordid darkness."

Only Shouka knew his brother enough to notice Reishin's hand tighten over his ever present fan for the first time Kouyuu ever addressed him as 'father' in front of another person. Kouyuu never had the confidence to do so before, but the younger man had matured and grown since Reishin left the capital.

"I am not an assassin, father." Kouyuu rose from his wolf to approach and take Reishin's hand. "Shouka sama never tried to lead me down that path. My weapons are laced with drugs that bring sleep, not death."

"You should know your son well enough to realize he could never be an aggressor, Reishin." Shouka teased his younger brother lightly to try and ease the tension. "But he is tenacious in his defensive arts."

"Aniue..." Reishin's hands tightened over Kouyuu's. "But to fight--"

"Shouka sama would not teach me until I proved I could make and care for my own weapons." Kouyuu released Reishin's hands to draw out his twin bamboo fans and a few darts.

Reishin suddenly remembered then that the Prime Minister's Aide was observed to have started carrying a fan tucked into his belt several months ago. His hands trembled slightly as he picked up one of Kouyuu's offered fans and a dart. They looked plain and painfully unadorned of any decorations. However, much like the way Kouyuu made dim sum, the workmanship was without fault and the balance perfect.

He opened the blades of the fan and almost dropped it when he saw the character 'Kou' painted almost imperceptably over the midnight green silk. 光 'Light...' Reishin wondered then if the ones who first named Kouyuu used this character for his name.

Reishin returned the weapons and took a long measuring look at his son; this young man who had a confidence in him that Reishin had never seen before. He had to chuckle to himself.

"I-- find myself half wishing to find you abed as I had first expected." He began slowly. "But I also cannot say I am disappointed that you are actively taking action instead of passively waiting."

"Even if it is because of Ran Shuuei?" Kouyuu smirked.

"Even so." Reishin let out a long suffering sigh.

"You feared his excesses and see my childhood slavers in him, father, but he is not them." Kouyuu told him gently as he took Reishin's hands in his again. "He is my light against my dark moods. And he is my love who protects me from my memories. He completes me, father. And I cannot lose him."

Reishin's hands tightened over Kouyuu's at this statement. "He means that much to you?"

Kouyuu nodded solemnly.

"Then you best swiftly bring your wayward Ran home, my son."

Shiro pulled on Kouyuu's belt lead, eager too to be off. Reishin looked regrettable at the soot stained white wolf which he had given to his son, hoping to 'wean' him off his 'dependence' on Ran Shuuei. Perhaps it worked too well since her presence had also bolstered Kouyuu's confidence to strive to be the recently restored Shogun’s equal.

Kouyuu released his father's hands and took a step back before bowing to Reishin. "I thank you, father. For the freedom you gave me to choose my own path in life; and for your love and strength in acceptance of these choices."

These simple statements were almost Reishin's undoing as his heart fairly bust with pride for his son. "You-- know that if you wished the Kou name, I would give it to you."

"I know." Kouyuu smiled at him in assurance. "But as you intended, I have far more freedom without it, while I also still remain the recognized son of the Clan's head.

"A masterful move, father, which I am finally mature enough to understand and appreciate."

Reishin inclined his head in acceptance of the praise for his acknowledged deeds.

The grey stained white wolf tugged on Kouyuu's belt again, drawing a resigned smile to Reishin's lips. "Go find your Ran, my son. I will protect your alibi."

And Reishin was suddenly alone in his son's bedroom, staring at an empty bed where he had originally expected to find his son pinning away in grief and fear for Ran Shuuei's disappearance; a charade he realised he had to maintain for his son's safety.

"You took that much better than I expected."

Reishin whirled around to confront the Prime Minister. "You knew this too, Yuushun?

"Aniue, you... How many others?!"

Yuushun shook his head as he took a chair. "Shou Taishi, since the Wolves of the Wind are his creatures. But not the emperor, not our secret prince-- not Ensei who teaches him barehanded defensive arts-- not even the Ran boy himself knew. Kouyuu was always discrete with his skills and lessons."

Yuushun paused while he studied old friend before speaking again. "My wife..."

"She--"

"Kouyuu approached her in confidence for materials and assistance in making his chosen weapons." Yuushun interrupted him. "Sai Rin is an inventor, so the challenge intrigued her. But do not doubt Kouyuu made his weapons with his own hands.

"Reishin, do you want to know why Kouyuu started on this path? What prompted him to consider taking up a weapon?"

By now just numbed with all the revealations slammed before him since his arrival in Kiyou, Reishin could only shake his head. "You've heard of the incident of the pit vipers hidden among your son's papers?"

Reishin frowned at the memory of that frightful report. "Yes, you killed one and Kouyuu distracted the other by throwing books at it until Shiro could get close enough to catch and kill the second snake."

"That wasn't exactly how it happened. Your Aniue was with us." Reishin's eyes went wide, understanding what Yuushun hadn't said. "Kouyuu was upset with himself. He froze when the snakes first manaced him. If Shouka dono wasn't near enough to sweep them aside, he would have been bitten."

Reishin's face went pale at the thought of his son's close call. "Kouyuu..."

"Ensei had been teaching Kouyuu barehanded fisticuffs, but it only fully registered to Kouyuu that day the position he accepted as my Aide." Yuushun lifted his cane to tap his leg ruefully. "I am pretty useless in a fight. So *he* is our last line of defense if our guards aren't near."

Reishin started to open his mouth to speak, but Yuushun cut him off before he could utter a word. "Do not ask me to leave this job, Reishin. I've told you before, I will not. And you know that Kouyuu will not either, that is why you never tried to ask him."

Reishin fell silent and closed his eyes. "I just want to keep him safe."

"And he *is* far safer now, my old friend. With the Black Wolf's training, Kouyuu will not freeze when faced with danger again and can even defend himself now.

"Kouyuu isn't an assassin, Reishin." Yuushun told him gently. "Neither your brother nor I would do that to you. Besides, he hasn't the temperament for it."

The Prime Minister looked his old friend in the eye. "But he is an able covert protector of the higher court, and a Master of poisons and antidotes whom even Shou Taishi respects."

"It is the path he's chosen for himself." Reishin told himself weakly as he sat on the empty bed, finally overcome by the many revelations.

"He has grown, Reishin. You must be very proud of your son."

"Yes, Yuushun. Yes, I am."

~owari~  
Thanks for reading.  
Cheers, firewolf

**Author's Note:**

> Submitted for LJ: Saiun Challenge's October Challenge. Won Second Place


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